4 Self-Defeating Thoughts That Can Derail Your Health Journey

Some people already know just what to do on their health journey. They have had many diets, they have had personal trainers, a plethora of coaches, and they know the science of how to lose weight.

However, sometimes these people still have trouble meeting their goals or making progress. They lack the internal work that is necessary to actually do the stuff they know to do.

In order to actually follow through with your health goals, you must have a healthy internal dialogue. 

What do I mean by “internal dialogue”? My internal dialogue is the voice that talks to me inside my head. It is what I say to myself as I am just going through my day. 

Research shows we have 12,000 thoughts per day. That is a lot of thoughts! Often, we are not even aware of them. Most of the time, people who have a hard time sticking with a health plan, habit change, or healthy lifestyle have some kind of self-defeating thought that sets them up for failure.

Here are four different self-defeating thoughts that can derail your health journey. 

Self-Defeating Thought #1 - Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is when you exaggerate events and imagine the worst case scenario.

For example, you are at work and your boss says, “Hey I need to talk to you. Can you come into my office when you have five minutes?” 

Your mind automatically says, “I’m going to get fired, this is going to be bad, my boss is going to say something terrible to me.” 

As another example, let’s say you start a weight loss journey, lose five pounds, but then gain back two pounds after a couple weeks. You think, “This is ruined. I’m probably going to end up gaining back all the weight I lost and then more.” 

Of course, there are reasons for this doomsday mindset. Many times, the thoughts we have as an adult result from thoughts we observed in a caretaker or family member when we were younger. Maybe, when you were growing up, someone important in your life was always anxious or always thinking of the worst case scenario. Over time, you began to internalize your environment and adopt those thoughts for yourself.

Having a catastrophizing mindset can derail us on our health journey because it sets us up for feeling like we have failed before we have actually failed.

Self-Defeating Thought #2 - Black and White Thinking

Black and white thinking is when you tend to believe there is one right way of doing things and one wrong way of doing things. There is no room for gray here. 

You might think, “I have to restrict what I’m eating and I can’t eat even one piece of cake. If I do, I’m not going to reach my health goal.” You also might say, “The only way to get healthy is if I only eat salads. I can’t eat red meat ever.” 

To put this in a work context, you might feel the notes have to be done only one way. If, one day, your assistant writes them differently, you think, “This is completely ruined!” 

Black and white thinking makes your health journey rigid. Which is extremely unenjoyable, and you end up feeling like you are torturing yourself every day. You are also not able to have a progressive mindset that celebrates the small wins, because you only want to do things one way.

Self-Defeating Thought #3 - Perfectionist Thinking

Perfectionist thinking is a type of black and white thinking where you have expectations for yourself that are unrealistic. Again, this is often a result of your background. You may have grown up in an environment where everything had to be perfect. Instead of experiencing unconditional love, you had to perform to gain your acceptance or approval. 

The resulting internal dialogue follows you all the way into adulthood where you feel that to do well, you have to do things at a high, usually unrealistic, standard.

As an example, let’s say you start a new diet and on the first day, you miss breakfast. A perfectionist thought would be, “I didn’t eat breakfast, I already ruined my whole diet, and I failed.” 

When you struggle with this mindset, it is important to be able to identify these thoughts for yourself so you can replace them with more realistic ones. To reach your health goals, you need a realistic and loving inner dialogue, regardless of how you are doing. You need unconditional love that can tell you when things are not perfect and at the same time tell you it is okay.

Self-Defeating Thought #4 - Blaming

Blaming happens when you are used to being around people who blame you or others for their problems. Being in an environment like this leads you to adopt the same mindset and not take responsibility for your own actions. In your mind, when things don’t work out right, it is someone else’s fault. 

For example, if you are struggling to meal-prep every day, instead of taking the responsibility and finding a way to make it work, you think, “I can’t meal-prep because I’m a full-time mama, and I have three kids who are so noisy.” 

Another example is: “I am so tired from my job. My boss is terrible. He puts so much pressure on me that, when I come home, I have no energy to take care of myself. As long as I’m at this job, self care is not going to happen.” 

A blaming mindset is different from identifying the stressors in your life. You might identify people in your life or environmental situations that are contributing to you not reaching your goal, however that is different from giving the stressor full responsibility and blame to the point that you give up.

In order to overcome blaming, you need to accept the circumstances of your life for what they are, and take full responsibility for the change you want to make.

If you want to learn more about self-defeating thoughts, check out part two of this episode! 

If you have any questions or need support on your health journey, you can email me at cktan@verticalmovementwellness.org or send me a message on Instagram @verticalmovementwellness. 

Warmly,

Dr. Cindy Kimmi Tan